I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
