I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Your tits are I can't wait for
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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