too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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