My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize