Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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