Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
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My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
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seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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