you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It's blow job season.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize