I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
