i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
