im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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