Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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