You can't motorboat a personality
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You may now shotgun with the bride
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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