Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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