whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
No subtext here. People are naked.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
