I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize