shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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