smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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