and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize