I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
