I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
