with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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