I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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