I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
he thought i was a dude.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
