Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
