Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
