On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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