also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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