I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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