Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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