I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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