My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
