Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
