addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
When did angry sex become our thing?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
