Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
