Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
