Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
