i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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