I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
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He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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