Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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