thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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