I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
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I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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