just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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