Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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