it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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