did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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