she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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