i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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