there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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