I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
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you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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