ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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