The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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