There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Randomize
