Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
