I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
