did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
