My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
